420 ftw
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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