we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
