i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
