We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
If I die, sorry about rent.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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