Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
then he tried to convert me to islam
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
