the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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