You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
