Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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