I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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