Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
