U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
