Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
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