I wish I could punch you in the face.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize