This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
