Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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