scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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