We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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