Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
