so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize