i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
