i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
There's always time for handjobs
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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