Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize