just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
