It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize