The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
