fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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