My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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