I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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