oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
