remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
