I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
