bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
