Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize