Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
