Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
