We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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