he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
