why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Even the bartender felt bad for me
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Boobs are out for the taking
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
