there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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