I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
