I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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