Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I understand Curling. That high.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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