so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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