so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Of course I have a pirate flag
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
