yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
