i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Randomize
