i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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