Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
