You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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