My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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