drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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