one might say we're banned from that church
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize