As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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