They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
