went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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