doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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