Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
