Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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