I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
