Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
