Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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