she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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