There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize